Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Have You Ever.....

This blog is specifically for you Worship Pastors out there. Most of you will be able to relate to many of the following "have you evers". Each of these is an original that I've dealt with at some point in my ministry. I decided to take some of the crazy things I've had happen along the way and compile a list. I hope that others of you will find the humor in them.

HAVE YOU EVER.....

1)...had someone start off a derogatory remark with the words "with all due respect"? That's usually just a "polite" way to tell you off and still feel like they did you a favor.
2)...had someone write you an ugly note on their tithe envelope to give you a "message from the Lord"? In most cases, if that amount you wrote is any indication of your normal tithe, I don't trust the messages you are hearing from God.
3)...called to apologize to someone for some petty little thing that you didn't even know you did because it had gotten back to you that they were upset...only to have them tell you that it didn't bother them? Really? So, it didn't bother you so much that you told 49 of your closest friends? I'd really hate to upset you.
4)...had someone complain that the sound in a church service is so loud that it is damaging their hearing, yet refuse to move to a quieter spot in the church because they like their seat?
5)...had someone who can't sing, can't play an instrument and can't hear try to tell you how to lead worship?
6)...had someone shake their fist at you during a worship set and try to get you to change the tempo to suit their opinion of how that song should go?
7)...had someone stand on the front row and hold their lighter up, igniting a 1 foot flame in the air as you sang that last worship song just before the Pastor's message?
8)...received a letter that threatened you physically because you didn't tell everyone to give a standing ovation to the children's choir director? (I was looking over my shoulder for a month for that crazy lady.)
9)...tripped on that last step going up onto the stage in front of an entire congregation. (And I was the guest worship leader for that day. I wonder if they lost my phone number. I haven't heard from them.)
10)...had to send a chaperon home from a student choir tour? (Yep. Did that one, too.)
11)...partnered with another church to come do a mission in their town for them, only to receive a bill from them for the water and electricity you used while staying in their dirty high school Sunday school class?
12)...received an email, card, or phone call from a church member that was full of encouragement and appreciation that made dealing with all of the other stuff worth it? I HAVE!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Unbelieveable! If these are instances drawn from your own experience, my blood boils! Although, I must say from my experience as a worship leader over the past 15 years, I can relate to some of the more sedate examples of agitated worshippers you referenced. From this, it is very apparent that God has given you an enhanced level of grace to placate your aggressors (though none of us would blame you if one day you gave in to your flesh and hauled off and slugged one of them!)... With Christ's love, Anne.

Mark Celoria said...

I have experienced the one with the person complaining about the sound and not wanting to move. It was actually my pastor who spoke to the woman. She didn't actually talk to me about it. Funny thing is the lady had a hearing aid!

Here's my "have you evers":

1) Ever fired someone? I am in 2 days :(

2) Ever said "O that with yonder sacred THONG?"

3) Ever told an overweight soloist that her "but" was confusing the choir? I was innocently referencing a syncopated conjuction that made the choir's entrance difficult.

4) Ever lead worship with Stellar Kart's lead singer, Adam Agee?

5) Ever had a sound man mute your mic during worship cause he was mad at ya?

Love ya, man!

Anonymous said...

That is hilarious! Gotta love the crazies.

I would love to add to that list - but it could get seriously long...

Anonymous said...

10.. yeah i so wish